Finished watching Adam. A romantic movie about a man with Asperger's syndrome. Lovely movie and I learned a lot from watching it. There's a lot I have to work on, and even tho everyday social interaction is like work to me, it's work that pays.
The hard truth of the manner is that I cannot be myself. No one can to be even more honest. Neurotypicals are used to hiding their true feelings and thoughts to avoid insulting, angering and scaring away others.
I cannot be completly honest, for hard bitter truths cut deeper than any knife. I understand from a intellectual aspie point of view that people lie and tell half truths in order to protect their and their loved one's feelings. Like someone said in the movie, aspies have to seperate the liars from the liars that are worth it Because all people lie.
Aspies also have to watch what they say and avoid assuming that people have the same set of likes and dslikes that they do. We have to guard our worlds carefully and try our best to learn the unwritten rules in a given group before uttering a word.
This behavior of NT's is very alien to me, but in order to survive in this world, I must adapt in order to survive. I do hope that I can find someone or a group of friends that I can be myself around for a little bit.
Because contary to popular belief, aspies don't wanna spend their whole life alone. No one does.
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