My teen years were the most troubled times of my life. I started going through puberty, my voice deepened and I started getting moody. My shrink prescribed me Depakote and that caused me to gain a massive amount of weight. The meds caused me to have such a massive appetite that I would eat until I threw up and I would still be hungry.
Another side effect of the meds I took was breast growth. I was ridiculed and teased my whole youth because of it. I was called names like "Mr Breastman" all the time and made a song about it. I was so bothered by it as a pre-teen and teenager that I began to wear a heavy winter vest to school and never went swimming. The cruel kids and adults started calling me "Vestman" afterwards.
By this time I am very confused sexually and am torn up about it. I never heard of bisexuality at this time so I started fearing that I am gay. I started asking myself "How can I be gay if I am sexually attracted to women?" My pain and suffering grew worse as the family started to abuse me physically, mentally and emotionally.
I then attempted suicide by taking pain pills. A family member stopped me only to beat me afterwards.
During this time I went in and out of psych wards. The people in the psych wards tried to drill in my head that my family's problems were my fault and mine alone. This traumatic experience added to the shame of my sexuality caused me to feel that the world and my family would be better off without me, and so I attempted suicide in a closet by hanging myself while I thought everyone was gone.
I was found in the closet and cut down and promptly beat
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