Thinking of trying to write again. The thing is that the smallest bit of stress leaves me a incompetent mess of nerves. I need to find a way to relieve stress before writing.
I know I'm good enough to hang in there with the best. I know I'm skilled enough to write things people will want to read. I also know some writers spend years trying to defeat a block, like I've been doing.
I know that some of the reasons I try to do what I can is wrong. I want fame, I want people to respect me for my skill. I want to stand in the halls of the greatest of all time and be lionized for my skill in my craft.
I want to be a household name that's used in everyday speech. I want to be revered for my abilities much in the same way that Muhammad Ali was for boxing, Bruce Lee was for martial arts or MLK was for imspiring hope.
I want glory. I want fame. I want greatness. I want to write lasting pieces that will become norm in schools to read. I want to have a legion of unwashed fans wanting to sell their soul for my next book. I want to influence the future greats with my works.
I want to bring a tear to the deity's eye from the greatness of my works and have it come down to give me five.
And I know I'm capable of greatness. I just need to conquer my inner devils and break the chains that hold me down to mediocrity.
But there are non selfish reasons for me wanting to become a writer. If I were famous, I would matter in the eyes of the populous. My words would actually carry weight. I could use my influence to push things on the right track. I could bring the light to the people fighting injustice overshadowed by the Snookies and Charlie Sheens of the world.
It is simply much easier to do things when you are rich and famous
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